– Quotes from Nirvana Upanishad
1) Without knowing the self, there is no immortality.
2) Letting go of fear, attachment, grief and anger is the sannyasin’s renunciation.
He savors only the taste of his oneness with the ultimate reality.
3) Patience is the sannyasin’s carry-bag. Indifference is his loincloth. Conscious thought is his staff.
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4) Oneness with the beyond is his message of salvation. The non-duality of eternal bliss is his god. Mastery of the inner senses is his guiding light.
5) Shunya, the void, is not just symbolic: it is the existence of the divine.
(Brahman) is realized by discrimination (of the real from the unreal) (and) it is beyond the reach of the mindand speech.
6) Awareness is the sannyasin’s protection; Compassion is his only play; Bliss is his mala – his bead necklace; The aloneness of the inner cave is his posture; Unwavering joy is his only dialogue. Unplanned are his alms.
7) This world is transitory. One who has taken birth in it, is living as if in a dream, as false as an elephant seen in the clouds. In the same way, your desires and imaginations are the result of the impact of the body and the senses; they are all illusions, like a rope that appears to be a snake. So the aim is to realize the brahman, the ultimate reality.
8) Through yoga, the sannyasin constantly experiences the blissful self.
The only alms he longs for is bliss. Even deep in a cemetery, he lives as if in a pleasure-garden.
Aloneness is his only abode. He tirelessly strives for the light. His movement is into no-mind. His body is clean and pure.
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Non-dependence is his refuge. His activities are like a playing, dancing river.
Love and Aloneness – Unravelling the ego and pride
There is a most bizarre word the media and the psychologists have begun to use to describe loneliness in our societies: they say it has become an epidemic. An epidemic! A description normally reserved for extremely prevalent and widespread diseases – that is what this state of mind has become.
And the statistics back it up. A third of the citizens of many civilized countries admit to suffering from extreme loneliness. And the impact on our physical health one study reported that isolated men were 25% more likely to die than those in a relationship, and the women 33% more likely.
Why is loneliness so painful? There are many reasons – but there is one in particular I’m starting to notice. Loneliness is a curse because we don’t know who we are – and that is our basic anxiety. When you are alone, all your self knowledge, your identity, your personality –your ego begins to unravel. The deeper into your aloneness you go, the more you see all your self-knowledge as they are – false.
And it is scary – what you have known your entire life – false! It is so scary that much of our culture is based around this fear. Social clubs, associations, political parties, and even cafés – they all exist for one thing: so one can avoid being alone. And what if we are by ourselves? Then we turn to music, alcohol, the television, the Internet – all to avoid being in our own company.
But the strange thing is – losing our false identity, it is a blessing. It can be scary, yes, but when we turn around and face it – when we turn our loneliness into aloneness –that is when we begin to experience what is real.
When you are alone, everything that you have disowned, everything that you refuse to accept or acknowledge – they begin to arise. We begin to truly know ourselves, to see the genuine. And that is not something that can be told – it has to be experienced.
Comparison – the unravelling of the self
The first thing we have to know is – when we are in a crowd, we think we know who we are. You are American, Vietnamese, Indian. Why? Because you look around and there are people who look different. Everyone calls you by your name, so that is who you are. Everyone acknowledges your title, your job description – they call you Mister, Missus, Madam, Doctor, Reverend, and that is what you think you are.
You are beautiful, because those around you are ugly. You are tall, because your neighbours are short. You are poor, because they live in mansions. You are rich, because some live in cardboard boxes.
But who you are, is not any of these. As Osho said – your heart is neither European nor African, tall nor short, poor nor rich. Who you are is beyond these little labels.
And when you are completely alone, there is no one to compare to. There is no false standard to measure yourself by – and that is when all these labels and false layers start to unravel. Your identity, your very personality, begins to disappear.
And all our lives, that is who we think we are. Our identity card, our driver’s license, and our passport. Our history, our descriptions, and our reputations. Our jobs and our accomplishments. And when that falls away…some peopleit a form of death.
What is left? The genuine. I can’t describe it – I haven’t gone there yet. But the deeper I have gone, the more I realise how beautiful it is. To go completely into aloneness, to find the real – I can’t think of anything I’d want more.
So, go and be alone. Not lonely, just alone. Accept and heal whatever bubbles to the front. Throw away all your masks and your false faces. Go away from society. Stop being afraid of loneliness, and just be alone. Let it become your mirror, the perfect mirror, to see who you really are.
And one day – when you feel ready, when you can say that you have known yourself, taken delight and found Love in yourself. That is when your butterfly comes out of the chrysalis. And this process is different for everyone. How long does it take? I’ve been alone for close to a year – and there is still so much to find!
The proud and the egotistical
And comparison leads us perfectly to a question that I have been pondering for a long time: What of those who are so proud and egotistical? What is the difference between being selfish, and of being self loving?
Love for oneself, for one’s totality – the heart, body, and soul – is perhaps the biggest accomplishment one can ever achieve. Someone who has such Love becomes joyful, peaceful, and content. It is impossible for one who knows Love to be hurtful. I know a few such people – they are the most humble women and men one can ever meet.
And just as someone who loves their garden will spend hours planting roses, picking out weeds, and smelling the fragrances – so, too will such people take pleasure in who they are.
Such people exude an indistinct anger and hatred. They make themselves feel better at the expense of those they come into contact with. They have boosted themselves by trampling on you. They spit on others – “I must be higher than they are if I can spit downwards” – that is their rationale. Everything they have – all their self worth and power – is based on judgement and comparison, based on having someone underneath them!
Vanity, egotism, and pride – they all hide a subtle unhappiness, a cleverly disguised animosity. All hatred is self-hatred – and this lies hidden underneath their actions. And that is why they belittle others. Some of the overt ones rage, or yell – and it is all just an externalisation of their internal self-violence. All their strength, their confidence – just a flimsy façade.
The vain and selfish
And the second thing: their worth is based on comparison. In fact, if taken to an extreme, pride becomes a form of personality disorder – narcissism. And this is the parable that Osho used to explain perfectly. All I can do is use the same story.
The story of Narcissus is a well known one – a young man who was so beautiful that he fell in love with his own reflection in the water. And there lies the difference. A humble man falls in love with himself; a vain man falls in love with his reflection.
And in that reflection – the comparison we’ve been discussing. The psychology manuals list the traits of the personality disorder concretely: A modern day Narcissus believes he is special, that he is more beautiful than others, that he deserves more. She is arrogant; she demands attention and constant admiration. She takes advantage of others, with total disregard for their feelings.
How egotistical! And that’s exactly what it is – pride stems from the ego. Comparison strengthens it. Take them away from the crowd, give them no one to compare to, and their pride and their façade falls apart. When they have no one to trample on and sneer at, the truth is revealed, the ugliness in them arises.
I remember a few beautiful women; they spent hours on their make-up and clothes, and they constantly belittled other women. They seemed to have unshakeable self confidence – but when I got to know them better, all their insecurities – often about their looks! – rose to the fore. And it didn’t make sense initially – many women would kill to look like them, most men couldn’t take their eyes off them. Such empty egoistic pride – it doesn’t stand up to the test of aloneness.
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Love is totally different. I have heard: In Love, there is no split, there is no other. The lover and the loved all melt into one. Narcissus – he was split. His object of affection wasn’t himself, it was his reflection.
Fake love rejects – when there is perceived imperfection, fake love kicks away. Real Love knows no comparison. When there is perceived imperfection, real love deepens. It holds even tighter.
Know Love – ego and pride, are the opposites of Love. Cultivate Love, and watch as they dissolve.
Definition of Fear of loneliness
Loneliness is a feeling where people experience a powerful surge of emptiness and solitude. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Someone who is lonely may find it hard to form human contact.
One of the first recorded uses of the word "lonely" was in William Shakespeare's Coriolanus.
Fear of loneliness: An abnormal and persistent fear of loneliness, of being alone. Sufferers of this fear experience undue anxiety even though they realize that being alone does not threaten their well-being. They may worry about being ignored and unloved, or they may worry about intruders, strange noises or the possibility of developing a medical problem.
Fear of loneliness is termed "autophobia" , a word derived from two Greek words: "autos" (self) and "phobos" (fear). "Autos" has given us many English words such as "automatic" and "automotive" (self-moving) and "autonomy" (self-governing). And "phobos" has bequeathed us a vast number of phobias such as "claustrophobia " (fear of closed places) and "acrophobia" (fear of heights).
**..... see my WS1+2 another captured
P.R.People can experience loneliness for many reasons, and many life events are associated with it. The lack of friendship relations during childhood and adolescence, or the physical absence of meaningful people around a person are causes for loneliness, depression, and involuntary celibacy. At the same time loneliness may be a symptom of another social or psychological problem (for example chronic depression) which should be analyzed.
Many people experience loneliness for the first time when they are left alone as an infant. It is also a very common though normally temporary consequence of divorce or the breakup or loss of any important long-term relationship. In these cases, it may stem both from the loss of a specific person and from the withdrawal from social circles caused by the event or the associated sadness.
Loss of a significant person in one's life will typically initiate a grief response; here, one might feel lonely, even in the company of others. Loneliness may also occur after the birth of a child, after marriage or any socially disruptive event, such as moving from one's home town to a university campus. Loneliness can occur within marriages or similar close relationships where there is anger, resentment, or where love cannot be given or received. It may represent a dysfunction of communication. Learning to cope with changes in life patterns is essential in overcoming loneliness.... etc...For You All out There and Me
~ Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for. ~Dag Hammarskjold
No one would choose a friendless existence on condition of having all the other things in the world.
No my friend, darkness is not everywhere, for here and there I find faces illuminated from within; paper lanterns among the dark trees.- Carole Borges
To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their closet.- Charles Caleb Colton
Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness; So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another, Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.
Poems on Loneliness
by Sri Chinmoy
Smile my heart smile.
You will see loneliness
Nowhere.
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Do not blame Heaven
And do not blame earth
For your loneliness.
You are travelling the ways of loneliness
Because your mind has not tried to conquer
The darkness of frustration-frown.
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A doubting mind
Is forced to live
In the prison of loneliness.
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When our self-offering
Comes to the fore,
Loneliness
Is bound to disappear.
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My world-oneness-heart
Is a perfect stranger
To loneliness.
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There is nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it. Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favourite shirt.- Jhonen Vasquez
Oh, sweet sorrow, the time you borrow, will you be here when i wake up tomorrow?- Katherine Wolf
Loneliness the clearest of crystal insight into your own soul, its the fear of one's own self that haunts the lonely.- Keith Haynie
Life dies inside a person when there are no others willing to be-friend him. He thus gets filled with emptiness and a non-existent sense of self-worth.- Mark R. J. Lavoie
Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the spaces between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.- Maya Angelou
There is no pleasure to me without communication: there is not so much as a sprightly thought comes into my mind that it does not grieve me to have produced alone, and that I have no one to tell it to.- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
There is absolutely no point in sitting around and feeling sorry for youself. The great power you have is to let go ... focus on what you have, no that which has been mean or unkindly removed. - Minnie Driver
When Christ said: "I was hungry and you fed me," he didn't mean only the hunger for bread and for food; he also meant the hunger to be loved. Jesus himself experienced this loneliness. He came amongst his own and his own received him not, and it hurt him then and it has kept on hurting him. The same hunger, the same loneliness, the same having no one to be accepted by and to be loved and wanted by. Every human being in that case resembles Christ in his loneliness; and that is the hardest part, that's real hunger.- Mother Teresa
The person who tries to live alone will not succeed as a human being. His heart withers if it does not answer another heart. His mind shrinks away if he hears only the echoes of his own thoughts and finds no other inspiration.
There's a cold wind blowing softly through a narrow, dark ravine. A sound is heard, soft and everywhere, like the rustle of silk. It echoes from every dismal reaching corner of the abyss, and whispers of the aching loneliness within the crevasse. A cold, blue-white light transcends an aura of weird lifelessness to the jagged rocks of the cleft walls. There appears a soul within all of this, like a thin frail mist, congealing within its center -- a tiny translucent gray cloud.- Ralph Kenyon, 1962
There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.- Dante
We're all lonely for something we don't know we're lonely for. How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around feeling like missing somebody we've never even met?
The most I ever did for you was to outlive you. But that is much.
The end comes when we no longer talk with ourselves. It is the end of genuine thinking and the beginning of the final loneliness. The remarkable thing is that the cessation of the inner dialogue marks also the end of our concern with the world around us. It is as if we noted the world and think about it only when we have to report it to ourselves.- Eric Hoffer
With some people solitariness is an escape not from others but from themselves. For they see in the eyes of others only a reflection of themselves.
I know the night is not the same as the day: that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist, and the night can be a dreadful time for lonely people once their loneliness has started.
Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far it extendeth. For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love.
Francis Bac on
One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul, and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Vincent Van Gogh
Are you lonely? Perhaps it’s because God has allured you into a quite place to speak tenderly to you. Isaiah 43:5 became a cherished verse to me then: “I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches found in secret places.” There are riches to be found in the wilderness. Treasures awaiting those going through lonely days.
Who knows what true loneliness is -- not the conventional word but the naked terror? To the lonely themselves it wears a mask. The most miserable outcast hugs some memory or some illusion. Joseph Conrad
No matter how lonely you get or how many birth announcements you receive, the trick is not to get frightened. There's nothing wrong with being alone. Wendy Wasserstein
